Milky Mayhem
by MISAKA 10032
Summary: Just some random thing I came up with. Everyone knows that "If it's milk, it gotta be Musashino!" But what happens when all of the Academy City's supply gets contamined by a magical artifact?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the copyrighted material present in this story, all rights belong to their respective owners.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 01<strong>

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><p>A small girl runs through the shadowy back alleys of an abandoned city district while trying to protect what looks like a small wooden box from whomever is pursuing her.<p>

However, the clothes that she's wearing (a nun's habit, nonetheless), as well as, the various bruises and cuts that cover her body cause her to stumble every now and then, leaving her open for even more punishment.

And so, as she staggers to her feet again she is hit in the back mercilessly by her opponent and thrown all the way to the sidewalk.

"Now, now, my dear, I hope that you've made your prayers this morning, 'cause now… Playtime is over!" The girl's pursuer says as he readies his next attack.

Meanwhile, not very far from there…

"Aw man, that's just my rotten luck," Touma said as he picked yet another empty can from the ground and put it on the plastic bag that he was carrying on his left hand.

The reason why he was here, on a district that was so throughout wrecked that even Skill Out didn't wanted it, was none other than the fact that his lovely homeroom teacher had forced everyone in the his class to take such a perfect weekend as they were having and throw it away doing community services.

"And so, here am I. Picking up trash instead of enjoying such a good weather," Touma sighed while gazing at the clear skies.

"Come on, you don't have to complain so much, Kami."

"Yeah, at least we get an eyeful of the girls in their gym clothes even though today is Sunday."

It's not even necessary to say that the two who said such things while ogling the girls like the pair of perverts that they truly are were none but Touma's friends, Pierce Aogami and Motoharu Tsuchimikado.

"Hey you, Three Stooges! Why don't you stop talking trash and start taking this seriously?" Likewise, the only one who could have uttered such a magnificent threat was none Seiri Fukiyose, the axis of reason in this class of unruly misfits.

"I guess that we'll go faster if we split ourselves, don't you think?" Touma said, not very well hiding the fact that he was searching for a way to escape the dagger stares of all the girls in his class.

"Well, I guess you may be right, but…" Said Fukiyose as she stopped to consider the possibility.

However, "Hey, Kamijou, where do you think you're going?" She shouted as Touma ran away from them.

"I'll do this side, you guys do the other one!" Shouted Touma as he made his hasty retreat.

"Urgh… what's up with him?" Fukiyose shouted as Touma's silhouette disappeared between the old buildings.

Soon enough, all of the other students started to take their own ways and you didn't have to be a genius to know that because of Touma's laziness their day was ruined.

A few moments later…

"Phew… I'm glad I managed to lose them," Touma said as he stopped to catch a breath behind an old trash container.

"Now then, it's almost lunchtime. Index will be furious with me if I don't get back quickly."

But, when Touma picked his phone to check for the fastest way back home…

"Kyaaa!" A scream that echoed through the deserted alleyways reached his ears.

"Oh great, I bet one of the girls found an ugly bug, or something like this. But anyway, it's better to check it!"

Touma then began to run to where the scream had come from and in a few minutes found a girl wearing a nun's habit unconscious on a nearby sidewalk.

However, before he got to where she was, the girl was struck by a powerful wind and almost got thrown towards a nearby canal.

Putting as much strength on his lower limbs as he could, Touma ran faster than he ever had before (or so he thought) and was able to grab the girl mid-flight and land not-so-cleanly by rolling over with the girl still in his arms.

"Hey, are you, ok? Hang on I'll call an ambulance right away!" Touma shouted as he placed the girl safely on the ground, but she didn't answered t any of his calls.

"If I were you, I wouldn't even bother myself with the fate of such a heretic." Said a mysterious voice, coming from an alley behind Touma and the girl.

"Show yourself, you dirty coward!" Shouted Touma as he got back to his feet, shielding the girl.

"I've no business with a nosy brat like you, boy. If you go away now, I'll even turn a blind eye while you run." Said an exotic dressed woman as she got out of the alley and walked condescendingly toward Touma.

Her clothes were like that of a desert traveler, and in her right hand, she held some kind of metal bottle shut tightly with a glass cork. The small amount of skin that was visible behind her cloth mask was sunburned, yet smooth and beautiful, just like a maiden come straight out of one of the tales of the 1001 Nights.

"Not even in your dreams, pal. I may not know what's happening here, but there's no way that I'll turn by back to someone in need!" Touma said as he lowered his stance, ready for whatever was to come.

"Such bravery… and here was I thinking that chivalry had died a long time ago." Said the woman mockingly, she then uncork the bottle and shouted, "But remember, it was you who asked for it!"

Soon a great gust of wind was shot from the bottle and a ball of compressed air as fast and as strong as a cannon ball flew in Touma's direction.

He didn't so much as move a centimeter from where he was and only blocked the blast of magic wind with his right hand and just as he expected, Imagine Breaker destroyed it easily.

The mage was momentarily taken aback when her spell was cancelled in such a way, so Touma used that opportunity to charge her and try to land a punch.

But, she regained her senses just as he would connect and countered with a spinning kick that sent Touma heeling backwards.

She followed with another blast of magic, which Touma countered easily again. Seeing that her spells didn't worked for a second time, even if her kick did, the woman did a backwards somersault and landed more than ten meters away from where she was standing.

"Let's see how you handle this, then!" She casted yet another spell before Touma had time to reach her, but this time it wasn't aimed at him.

"Oh, no!" Touma shouted as the spell, some kind of blades made out of wind, shot past him and slashed cleanly through the side of one of the nearby buildings, causing it to collapse right on top of the unconscious nun.

"Damn!" Touma shouted as he run towards where he left the nun, but when he got there there was no more time to take her away, so he tried his best to shield her from the debris despite knowing it was of no use.

However, when a big piece of concrete was about to crush Touma and the girl, someone saved them by slashing it in two.

Just as Touma was about to lose his own consciousness because of the injuries he sustained from the other debris, he heard the mysterious woman shouting hysterically, "What the hell are you doing here?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the copyrighted material present in this story, all rights belong to their respective owners.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 02<strong>

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><p>The following morning, at the hospital…<p>

"Ah, good thing you're finally awake, my boy. However, given the amount of time you stay here, I'm starting to think that you like this room better than your own." Those words, said by the frog-faced doctor, were the first thing that Touma heard after he regained consciousness.

"I won't lie to you on that, doctor." Said Touma by the way of an apology. "But, wait! What happened to the girl?" He said while still a little dizzy.

"Could you be a little more specific please? I know at least ten thousand girls who are related to you in some way." Said the doctor as he signed some papers did a last check-up on Touma's health.

"Well…" Said Touma scratching the back of his head, "I'm talking about a nun, or at least she was dressed like one. But this one was wearing a red habit."

"Ah! You're talking about the girl named Alexandra that your friend brought here along with you? If that is it then don't worry, she's sleeping safe and soundly on a room down the corridor."

"Well, I'm glad to hear that, but when you say friend, you mean exactly who?"

Just as Touma asked this question to the frog-faced doctor, he heard someone clearing her throat loudly just a few inches away from where he was.

"So that's how you repay me? Not even remembering who dragged you all the way to this place?" Said a very irate Kaori Kanzaki as she glared at Touma.

"What the…!? Kanzaki, since when have you been here?" Touma was so surprise that he almost fell from his bed.

"And you still have the guts to ask me that? I'm here ever since I brought you to this place yesterday."

This time it was the doctor who cleared his throat to call for their attention, "Anyway, since you're well now, I need to show you a thing. Can you come with me please?"

A few minutes later, Touma sees himself at the hospital's pediatric ward.

The doctor stop in front of a room decorated with lots of Gekota related things.

"Now, I need you to promise me that you'll behave properly no matter what you see inside this room, ok?" The doctor asks just as he slides the door open…

A few hours earlier…

Dinnertime had just ended on the Tokiwadai Middle School dormitory and one of its most illustrious residents, Mikoto Misaka had just whisked herself away from the eyes of her peers – especially from Kuroko's perverted glare – and found her way to a nearby convenience store.

After walking calmly through the store's cramped corridors, trying to not draw attention towards herself and her real objective, Mikoto stopped in front of the dairy products section with a troubled look in her eyes.

"Ok, since I had already come this far…" Mikoto shook her head trying to reassure herself before picking up a couple of cartons of Musashino milk and ran as fast as she could towards the cashier.

"Thank you for your continued patronage!" Said the easily excited boy who worked at this store's night shift just as Mikoto left the place.

A few moments later, at a nearby park…

Mikoto had just finished drinking one of the milk cartons and was about to take down the other when she stopped for an instant and stared at the box, curiously.

"Wow, that's what I call fresh milk! Here says that these ones had been packed not even five hours ago. Anyway, here goes nothing…"

Back to the present, at the hospital…

"Yay! It's Gekota! Gekota's here!" A voice very well known Touma says as he and the frog-faced doctor enter the room.

A moment later and Touma is already practically rolling on the floor laughing after watching the doctor being mercilessly assaulted by the room's occupant.

"I thought that you told me you would behave like someone of your age, my boy." Said the doctor while trying to control the overexcited patient.

"Ok, ok, I'm sorry, doc. But it's just that you don't see something like this every day, you know?" Touma said as he managed stifle his laughter and look at the source of the commotion.

There, rolling on the ground along with the doctor was none other than Mikoto Misaka, behaving in an incredibly childlike way. In fact, if there wasn't one of her sisters right there trying to take her away from the doctor, Touma wouldn't be hard pressed think that the girl over there was actually Last Order, who somehow got aged in one night.

"That's enough! If you don't behave like a grown-up girl, you won't get any more Gekota candies. Says Misaka as she sternly scolds her big sister." Said the sister, which – thanks to the necklace he had previously given her – Touma recognized as being Misaka #10032, as she grabbed Mikoto by the collar of her uniform and forced her to her bed.

Once Misaka put her sister back on her bed and gave her one consolation candy, Touma said, "Other than the fact that Zapper is behaving like a five-years-old I don't think that I understand what's happening here. Can you please tell me, doctor?"

"Actually, it's not only her who is behaving like this. Ever since yesterday's evening there are reports of people behaving like this all over the city."

"What!? Are you trying to tell me that all over the city there are grown-up people behaving like children?" Touma said unable to believe in such an absurdity.

"Perhaps, if Misaka reports the events of yesterday it would be easier for you to understand. Says Misaka as she tries to make herself useful."

"Well, go ahead." Touma said while looking Misaka in the eyes.

"Very well, then. Says Misaka as she tries to hide the embarrassment of being under the boy's stare by averting her eyes."

Before he even knows, Touma is taken aback by the harsh reality before his eyes…

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><p><strong>AN: Thank you all for your kindness of reading this weird little story of mine. And sorry for the not so good writting and short chapters, but it's been a long time since I trid to write anything under my old account and so I'm trying to get back in shape with this small comic interlude.**

**Anyway, thank you very much for your consideration. Bye!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the copyrighted material present in this story, all rights belong to their respective owners.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 03<strong>

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><p>"A few hours ago, Misaka unintentionally overheard a radio call of Anti-Skill as she was passing by the side of a parked patrol car while walking around the shopping district. Says Misaka as she begins her report in purposefully vague way, being careful to hide the fact that she was looking for the boy in the places where he is more likely to be seen."<p>

Touma tries his best to keep focused while he listens to Misaka's report. However, no matter what he does, he can't take his eyes off of Mikoto who's right now happily sucking on a Gekota lollipop while listening to her sister.

"_Man, what did I do to deserve this luck?"_ He sighs inwardly while trying to figure the cause for this incident and how to solve it.

"_But at least Zapper is kinda cute when she's like this."_

"Ahem! Says Misaka as she clears her throat loudly to call for the boy's attention."

"Eh! I'm sorry… what was it again?" Touma apologizes to Misaka for his lack of attention while scratching the back of his head.

"Misaka was reporting the events of yesterday to the boy; however, the boy seems more interested in watching her big sister eating a candy than on Misaka's report. Says Misaka letting a bit of her fury slip unconsciously into her voice."

"Or perhaps, is this the kind of thing that turns you on? Asks Misaka as she mercilessly teases the boy after remembering the fact that he's always seen in the company of girls of inappropriate age and or looks."

"What!? No, I'm nothing like this!" Touma said, waving his arms in front of himself defensively.

"Hehehe, if say so… Says Misaka in a suggestive tone after having satisfied her thirst for revenge and getting ready to resume her report."

"Oh boy…" Touma sighs under his breath, "I'm betting this will be a hell of a long day."

"The caller said, 'Attention all units, this is HQ requesting immediate backup to quell large scale riots happening all throughout the city. All available units please assemble at the nearest station. Repeating…' Says Misaka as she tries to imitate the officer's voice unsuccessfully."

"Following this, Misaka was sent on her way home by to Anti-Skill officers with a warning to not get near the park where she first met the boy, because there was some powerful electricity using esper rampaging through that area. Says Misaka as she reminisces about the past while in the middle of her report."

"Misaka then consulted the Network to see if there was any other Misaka who have been reported to go out of control. However, given the negative reports of all of the other Misakas, Misaka could only think of one other possibility. Says Misaka as she explains how she got to the conclusion that the esper in question was none other than her big sister."

"Taking the matter into her own hands, Misaka armed herself and went to the park to try and capture her big sister before the Anti-Skill could get their hands on her. Explains Misaka while narrating her bold decision; however, Misaka is careful to make a point that she was using tranquilizer shots instead of live ammo."

"Well, let me see if I got this correct up to now," Touma said after signaling for Misaka to wait a minute.

…

"That's mostly correct. Says Misaka as she positively evaluates the boy's retelling of her report."

"However, after securing her big sister, Misaka was at a loss as of what to do, then following her instincts Misaka brought her big sister to the hospital knowing that even if Dr. Gekota wasn't able to help her sooner or later the boy would show himself. Says Misaka as she concludes her report with hint of hope in her voice."

"Well, I guess that I have no choice then," Said Touma as he walked in the direction of Mikoto's bed.

"I just hope you don't mind me doing this, but it's for your best, Zapper." Said Touma as he touched Mikoto in the forehead with his right hand, certain that the Imagine Breaker would do the trick this time again.

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><p><strong>AN: Once again I thank you all and apologize for the small chapters, but that's actually all that I'm able to write in a roll these days because of a wrist injury and Ilike to post things just as I write them.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the copyrighted material present in this story, all rights belong to their respective owners.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 04<strong>

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><p>A few moments later, still at Mikoto's room…<p>

"What!?" Said Mikoto with an earsplitting scream after being told about what happened to her in the past few hours.

"You know, now that I think about, you were much better that way, Zapper." Touma said while trying to massage his eardrum with his right pinky.

He then followed with a light chuckle, which proved to be a big mistake as it was good only to fan the flames of Mikoto's rage.

Unable to hold it any longer, she shot him with a huge lightning spear while shouting from the top of her lungs, "Damn you, stop screwing with me!"

Naturally, Touma blocked the discharge with his right hand, but it still didn't saved them from being scolded by Heaven Canceller.

"Might I remind both of you that we are still at a hospital; shouting and sudden electric discharges are absolutely prohibited here."

"Sorry, doc."

"Yeah, sorry."

After the dejected couple apologized, Heaven Canceller sighed and then, letting a carefree smile return to his face, said. "I'm glad that this problem has been dealt with, however we still have to isolate and deal with the source of this phenomenon."

"I guess you're right, I'd love to fry the face of whoever did that to me." Said Mikoto after jumping from the bed.

"Somehow, I don't think that's the point here." Touma said, carefully trying to not arouse Mikoto's anger again.

"Well anyway, do you have any leads, doctor?"

"I don't know if that's exactly a lead, but there's one common factor that all of the afflicted by this strange illness seem to share." The doctor said while picking up a stack of papers that was over a nearby table.

"And what would it be?"

"All of the patients seem to have consumed fresh milk from a specific brand just a few minutes before going berserk."

"You mean the milk, Musashino Milk, is the cause of all of this?"

"I would not be so sure about it. Anyhow, I tried to contact both Anti-Skill and Judgment to have them remove the fresher milk from the stores, but owing to the chaos around the city I was unsuccessful."

"Don't worry, doctor, I know the very best person to deal with it." Said Mikoto while picking up her phone and looking for Kuroko's number.

"We will help too. Says Misaka after asking for the cooperation of all of the other Misakas through the network."

Just as the two sisters were about to leave the room and start to take care of the milk matter, Touma said, "I'm counting with you Zapper and little sister. If you have any problem dealing with it just call me ok?"

"But I don't even have your num-" Mikoto began saying but was cut short by her sister.

"Alright. Says Misaka while smiling tenderly; happy to be useful to the boy."

"I guess that now all I have to do is put my right hand to good use." Touma leaving the room just after the girls.

However, Heaven Canceller stopped him and said, "Actually, I still have something to discuss with you, my boy."

Moments later, at Heaven Canceller's office…

"So, what's it, doctor?" Touma said with a stern look in his face.

He knew that any time Heaven Canceller called someone to his office it was to talk about something he couldn't in public, especially bad news.

"Actually, I took the liberty of taking a sample of the milk and subjecting it to a biochemical analysis. The results were quite intriguing, in fact." Heaven Canceller said while handing some papers to Touma.

"I'm sorry, doctor, but I can't understand any of this medical gibberish." Touma said as he handed the papers back to Heaven Canceller.

"I'll sum it to you, then. Here says that the milk in those cartons is mostly normal cow milk, and a very good one at that, but there's a distinct trace of human milk mixed with it too."

"I'm sorry, what did you just said, doctor?" Touma said unable to process any more information, just like if his brain had been frozen.

"What I said, my boy, is that this milk somehow got mixed with human milk."

"_What the f***!"_ Was the only thing Touma was able to think but he was so shocked that he couldn't even make these words come out of his throat.

"Moreover, when I told the same thing to your friend, the busty one, I mean, she didn't found it strange at all. In fact, the only thing that she did was ask about Alexandra, the nun she brought here along with you."

"If Kanzaki knows something about that crap then all I have to do is go and ask her." Touma said while leaving the doctor's office.

"I'm sorry, but it won't be possible, my boy. She left just a few minutes before you woke up."

"Well, then all that's left is to ask this Alexandra girl directly, because I can bet an arm that this crap has something to do with magic." Said Touma leaving to the girl's room.


End file.
